Saturday, January 8, 2011

Great Christmas Present

The Voice of Doom and Gloom received the perfect Christmas present: The Worst Case Scenario Daily Survival Calendar. Here’s a recent really bad thing that could happen: you encounter a mountain lion. What should you do?

  • Make yourself larger by opening your coat and holding it out by your arms (assuming you’re wearing a coat).
  • Throw stones; act aggressively. You must convince the lion that you are not easy prey.
  • If attacked, fight. Do not curl up and play dead.

Great stuff.

1 comment:

Perplexio said...

I've got the handbook somewhere. It was a Christmas gift several years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if its sitting in storage somewhere in my parents' home.

I have a book, How to Be a Man that has similarly situationally useful information on how to land a jumbo jet and how to properly execute a "bootlegger turn." The book, written by a pair of Aussies, also includes such useful nuggets as: "Baseball Caps: Are for baseball players and stupid Americans who don't know any better because of the decay of their educational system" (paraphrased).